Batman! Batman! Batman!
by Teenage Hero
Summary: When Bruce Wayne is captured by a mystery woman, he can only wonder why The Riddler would leave him a note once he returns.
1. A Silhouette

**The Prolouge**

"Batman, Batman, Batman, Batman!" That loud booming voice over a PA system was what awoke Bruce Wayne, and allowed him to discover he was currently sitting in a chair, with chains holding him down. He was currently in his Batman costume, and his mask was still in tact. He didn't reconginize the voice, it was new, high pitched and a girl. It sounded something similar to Harley Quinn, but wasn't her. He made no attempt to struggle in his bonds, clearly this girl knew what she was doing, and for now he saw no escape. Bruce was even more interested in finding out who this girl was because she seemed to have bested him, although no one bested him for long.

He waited for the girl to say something else, to maybe give a name or tell him her plan, something of that typical villain nature. Instead all he heard was a laugh, and again it wasn't typical. Not that crazy, evil laugh, more of a not so innocent but not so evil laugh. Had he not had his cowl on there would have been a look of confusion on his face, and to confuse the greatest detective was definetely an achievement. A door opened, the room he was in was still pitch black so he couldn't see who entered, his gut told him it was the woman and some of her paid help. All he saw was a silloute, tall, muscular, ruffled skirt, and she had curly hair. He attempted to get a better look but was quickly grabbed by four of her man and was thrown out another door. He was on a highway. It seemed like the place he was just in was a trailer, and it was now speeding away. Seeing as he had no chance of getting it back he called Alfred, his butler, to let him no where he was and that he needed a way back.

When Alfred finally arrived, Bruce got into the back seat of the limo and changed out of his bat suit into a more classic brown suit. Alfred tossed a piece of paper to him, and it landed right on his lap. It was a typed note, and it said, "I am just two and two. I am warm, I am cold. I am lawful, unlawful. A duty, a fault. I am often sold dear, good for nothing when bought; an extraordinary boon, and a matter of course, and yielding with pleasure when taken by force. Who am I?" This was clearly the work of the riddler, but it wasn't signed which was weird, and typically the riddler's notes would lead him to a place so they could meet, this showed no signs of a meeting place.

**Author's notes: For now this is just a side project, so it won't be updated as often, sorry! But here's a prolouge! I hope you like it, review please, thank you!**


	2. I'm Used To It

The second he arrived back to the mansion, Alfred and himself went straight to the batcave to try and figure out what he had just seen. Bruce knew he wouldn't be able to search this new villian in the computer, he didn't know her name, or ever most of her physical apperance. Instead he searched for Edward Nigma, to find his wherebeauts. According to the computer Nigma had just recently escaped Arkham with the help of Harley Quinn and The Joker. This might explain the new villianess, she seemed Quinn like. Maybe Quinn had changed herself a bit to perhaps keep things fresh for her 'puddin' and now the two had teamed up with Nigma. The theory made sense, but he wasn't about to settle on that one answer, it just didn't seem to fit well enough.

Once he had grown tiresome of trying to decefier who this new villian was, Bruce removed the note from Nigma and began to analyze that. The riddle wasn't up to his usual level of intelligance, and he figured it out soon enough, the answer was love. That answer had confused nearly as much as the new curly haired female. How was this riddle supposed to get him any where? He looked over the note again, and noticed something else. On the back something had been written, but erased. He quickly drew a pencil from the drawers and began drawing over it to get the word. It wasn't a word, it turned out it was a math problem. K=11, 1+1=2. Now that was more like it. Once doing the math, L=12 1+2=3, O=15 1+5=6, V=21 2+1=3, E=5. Bruce assume they were giving a street adress which he guess was 3635 Love St/Ave/Blvd/etc. and it turns out there was such a place. 3635 Cameron Blvd. was gentleman's club, and Cameron Blvd. got the nickname Love Blvd. because of the club.

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><p>He had called his old friend, the original Robin, and current Nightwing, Dick Grayson to come join him for tonight. Normally he would have had Tim help him but Tim was far to young. Plus, Dick just had the sense of humour for these kind of things. Normally Bruce went on the first mission by himself, because the first mission was always just scoping the area, and figuring out what was going on, not as Batman, but he felt that it would ruin his reputation as a wholesome, playboy, business man, so instead he was bringing Dick as a gag for his supposed 22nd birthday.<p>

Bruce had never been to a gentleman's club, but he knew what to expect. The only problem was, how does one dress when attending on of these clubs. After searching through his closet, he decided on the same thing he wore for every semi formal event he'd ever been to in his entire life, a brown suit. After dressing he went into the living room, where Dick and Tim were busy talking about something. Tim chuckled quietly to himself, while Dick bluntly said, **"What exactly are you wearing." **and both the boys began to laugh. Bruce looked at Dick, who was dressed casual. Mentally scolding himself, Bruce grunted, **"Let's go, now."** Alfred was staying home, since Tim sometimes had those moments where he tried to join Bruce when he wasn't supposed too, so Alfred would watch over him.

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><p>Arriving at the club was simple enough. The place was light on security, at least from first glance, the more he looked the more guards he noticed. Dick seemed to have noticed as well, <strong>"That's odd. The security is always pretty low key when I've come here before."<strong> Bruce decided to ignore the fact that Dick just said he's been here before, and began to walk inside. The guards didn't look like anything he couldn't handle. It seemed they had arrived with impeccable timing. Everything was in motion, and as they planned earlier, Dick went to go talk to the girls, and the regulars. While Bruce was to stay by the bar, and just keep an eye on everything.

So far all Bruce seemed to have observed was he didn't want to be here much longer, and hoped he would find what he was looking for. So The Joker, Harley Quinn, The Jane Doe Villain, or Edward Nigma ought to show up soon. He assumed that they would try and hide their identity, so The Joker wasn't going to be here, he was never really one to douwn a costume, not when he could have Quinn do it for him. The odds of Quinn being here though, were slim. She sure as hell wouldn't be in the crowd, because she wouldn't want people to think she wasn't faithful to her puddin, nor would she be on the stage. Quinn may be a psychopath, who's in love with an even more disturbing psychopath, but she still had respect for herself to slap Joker across the face if he asked her. So It was between The Jane Doe, and Nigma, and since both incidents with the two happened so close in time together, he was willing to bet they were both here.

This seemed to be something new, considering the look on Dick's face. Since he had been here before, he must know the routine well enough, and apparently this whole, girls get off the stage, and curtains close, wasn't about of the routine at least not this early in the night. Men started booing, drunken men. And you never want to anger drunken men. Soon though music started playing, music that roused the men in a positive way. The bartender shouted to the entire club that this was the man who owned the club, and special guest. The curtains flew away, and in the middle of the stage, there was a large arm chair, like a throne. It turned around, and there they were. Nigma, and the Jane Doe. This made no sense, both villains had extreme intelligence, yet Nigma owned a gentleman's club, which Bruce would have thought was for people lacking in the brain department would go, and here was his Jane Doe about to strip for the club.

He spoke to soon. The lights flickered, as did the music, Bruce paid even closer attention, as did Dick as Bruce saw his head perk up a little. everyone else thought this was a part of the show, but Bruce could only help but think otherwise. Soon the light was gone completely, making it impossible to see anything. Standing up in his chair, he hoped Dick would do the same of his own accord, and Bruce went straight for where he remembered the door to be. He bumped into multiple people who were just as confused as he was. And just as he was about to reach what he guess was the door, a gas that he had several experiences with was released in to the air. And he knocked out to the sound of the Jane Doe laughing.

**Author's Note: Sorry, I haven't really posted anything here for awhile. This isn't quite as long as I want, but it should hopefully do. Please review!**


	3. And Here We Are

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters, they all belong to DC**

Again Bruce was in a pitch black room, tied to a chair, and to be quite honest he felt like he was losing his touch getting captured so often. He cocked his head slightly to the left and saw another shadow, tied to a chair as well, and immediately remembered Dick was captured with him. The two nodded at each other, and both of them flipped forward in their chair, breaking their restraints. Dick was a bit better than Bruce was, then again Dick was always a better acrobat.

Once free, Dick began looking for an escape route while Bruce put his ear up against the wall to see if he was in another truck. Both detectives failed, they were in a room with no way out. After a couple last minute checks just to make sure there was no way out, the two men untucked their shirts reveling their utility belts. Bruce removed a flash light only to find the room painted completely black, ceiling, door, walls, floor, everything. After a minute of random searching, Dick found a sloppily green question mark painted on the door knob, and the second he got his face right up next to the door, it opened, throwing Dick backwards. The young man landed on his feet, and had to stand behind Bruce as the Jane Doe and Nigma entered just to control his swelling anger.

Nigma smiled at them, and the unknown lady curtseyed, Nigma spoke, "Sorry for the delay boys, I've been training by new toy. Isn't she a doll?"

The girl spinned around. Neither Bruce nor Dick showed any facial expression. Nigma frowned, he had been hopping to get a bigger reaction for his new villainess. Bruce felt accomplished knowing he could still get under the villain's skin. Now that he was upset, Nigmamerely tossed a folded up sheet of paper into the room, leaving the door opened. It was to late when Dick looked outside the door to catch them. The hallway had no other doors in it except the one that went back into the strip club, which was now empty. Bruce grabbed the sheet of paper, unfolded it, saw it was blank, tossed it back on the floor, and him and Dick began to held towards the mansion.

Before arriving back home, Bruce and Dick stopped at an intersection, and the minute they saw the question mark painted on the light, both men quickly changed into their own dignified costumes.

Once walking over to the question mark a computer generated voice spoke, "Tsk. Tsk. Tsk. Batman you should have properly read my little note." Of course, Bruce should have known Nigma would never not leave a clue. That note had clearly meant something, but now it was to late. The voice continued, "Now Batman, I think it's time we play my little game, separately." Just like that Dick was taken. He put up no fight, indication to Bruce he could handle himself. Bruce shook off the fact that he was now alone.

The noise of an approaching helicopter worried him though. He looked up, and thanks to Nigma'slittle question mark signature painted all over the aircraft, Bruce knew what was coming. He wasn't worried, not that he ever was when he was about to fight, these were Nigma's fighters, and typically they were never all that amazing, if there even was any. Three men dropped from the sky, and those three men were down within seconds.

Bruce shouted to the helicopter, "Nigma, this is a waste of time."

He heard the computer voice laugh, and ten more guys fell down. Granted ten men took a little longer to knock it, it was in no way impossible. This time instead of talking to Nigma, Bruce took notice of the fact that these men were Joker's, clown mask and all. Before any other men fell, or he could say something else to Nigma, a toxin was released and Bruce was knocked out yet again.

This time when he woke up he could see perfectly, and what he saw was Edward Nigma. This guy was just damn near determined tonight. They were alone, and he was chained to a bed. Nigma broke the silence, "Sorry about the weird setting, we had a last minute cancellation." Bruce struggled slightly, just to see the completeness of his situation and as he struggled he noticed Nigma inched forward and then that he to was chained. "It seems now that we are in the game together, Batman." Bruce pulled his chain, breaking them, but also causing Nigma to fall on top of him. Bruce had expected this, but Nigma had not seen this coming, and slightly panicked. This wasn't one of those silly movie falls that happen during a horror movie, this was a full on sexual awkward position fall. Bruce grabbed the man by his shoulder and sat him upright.

Nigma took control of himself and said, "The door is not locked." Bruce shook his head and said, "No. To easy. We go through the window." Bruce grabbed Nigma's waist, pulled out the batclaw and shot it through the window, pulling himself and Nigma up to the roof. The building they were in was one Bruce knew belonged to the Penguin.

Quickly turning around and sharply gazed at Nigma, "Who all is involved in this?" Nigma smiled and put his finger against his lips, to which Bruce grabbed his hand and slowly began to bend it backwards until Nigma finally began to talk, "I got you to the club, Scarecrow was to get you here, Penguin supplied the building, and the sniper guns, while Joker gave us the man power." Bruce knew there was more to it, and proceeded to bend Nigma's hand back more until Nigma spoke again, "I do believe Mad Hatter plays a part as well, but don't quote me on that." Bruce tossed Nigma on to the ground, the man was not surprised and began to straighten his tie.

Bruce was no quite done with him, he needed to know who was in charge. He inched towards Nigma, grabbed his shoulders and pushed him up against the chimney, Nigma spoke without any more force, "The leader is Hugo Strange, and he's using Bane and Hush to enfore his policies." Bruce was about to either punch him or toss him back on the ground, but before he could Nigma bite him. Bruce was so in shock that Nigma actually had the gall to bite him that he let it happen for sometime before finally throwing him off. Nigma hit the ground, and Bruce began to stalk around the roof. There were men everywhere and everywhere he considered hiding and been booby trapped. "Is there any hostages?" Bruce waited for a reply and after a moment or two he turned around, "Are there hos-" "Well I think I've found the perfect man to get my Alice for me." A whimsical, childlike voice said before Bruce, yet again, passed out on the floor.

**Author's Notes: Alright I'm trying the typical posting format, which I'm sure you guys will prefer reading in. The idea is to start writing for this more, and in fact making it my main story. So fingers crossed I can stick to that. Anyways, I hope you liked it! I tried to make it sort of fluffy, but Bruce isn't real good with "fluffy"**


	4. Ought to Give a Riddle

**Summary: When Bruce Wayne is captured by a mystery woman, he can only wonder why The Riddler would leave him a note once he returns, and why all the evil doers in Gothom seemed to have joined together **

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, if I did I wouldn't be sitting here writing this**

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><p><strong>Chapter Four: Ought to Give a Riddle<strong>

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><p>Silently swearing at himself for getting captured for the fourth time this week, Bruce began opening his eyes to take in his surroundings. "Ah ha! I told you! I told you Riddler! I knew he would wake up! Alice! Alice? Don't you see Alice? He's waking up!" Bruce was not tied up, or at least not very well. There was no need to tie him up seeing as Hatter had put one of his mind control hats on him while he was out, and there was no way he was getting out of it quite yet. Bruce caught sight of Nigma while Hatter had gone to talk to Alice. Nigma did not look worried, or the least bit strained despite the massive amounts of chains wrapped around him and his chair. The reason for the large amounts of restraints was Nigma lacked one if Hatter's mind control devices. Knowing Nigma, Bruce guessed he used his rank and supposed "superior intellect" to get Hatter to back off.<p>

Speaking of Hatter, Bruce heard him in the other room trying to find his beloved Alive. To Bruce this meant Hatter was more tempermental than usual and would soon need to find someone to play the role of Alice, both of which were bad news for Bruce.

Nigma had begun moving his hands ever so slightly, which had caught Bruce's attention, but since Hatter was a tad bit preoccupied he didn't noticed when Nigma threw some small object in an attempt to removed Hatter's invention off of Bruce's cowl. Unfortunately Nigma couldn't throw as well as he could think of riddles, and missed. The hard clunking noise hit the metal slab that was the floor and the two men heard hatter gasp in the other room.

"Oh no, no, no, no, no! Boys! What are you up to in there?" Hatter came stomping in, bringing four mind controlled cronies. He looked around, unable to tell where the noise came from. He opened his mouth, his eyes burning with a small fire and right as he was about to star shouting at the two he quickly decided against and snapped his mouth shut. Hatter walked closer to Bruce, bringing two of his men with him while leaving the other two to watch Nigma.

Hatter gazed at Bruce, "Do you notice something missing, Batman? Or what about you over there, Mr. Smarty Pants? Huh? Do you?" He was frantic and desperate, no villain was ever fun to be around, even more so when acting like this. "My tea! We should be having a tea party to welcome you two! Without tea you can't have a tea party, just like you can't have any party without Alice. Oh dear! We need Alice too! Alice and tea, Alice and tea, Alice and tea." In his little moment he had begun pacing and when he calmed himself down he grabbed Bruce's shoulders, "Would you please, oh please, get my tea?"

Before he could respond Hatter was teaching to take the hat off so he could get a proper answer from Bruce, but before he could do so Bruce growled, "Let Riddler go, and I'll find your tea." Nigma frowned, he clearly did not want to go around searching for some lunatics tea. Hatter backed away to look at Nigma, and stuttered, "But he's been naughty, very naughty in deed. Without him, what reason do you have to come back with my tea? My tea!" Bruce glared him down through his cowl, "I either leave with Riddler, get your tea, and come back to get some answers, or I get some answers now ,and leave you knocked out on the floor while I exit with Riddler." Hatter frowned, "But the tea, Batman! You must get the tea!" Hatter moved his hands towards his men, who let Bruce and Nigma out, before backing out of the room afraid for their lives.

Bruce grabbed Nigma's waist again, and pulled them on top of a nearby rooftop. Nigma straightened himself out, clearly not used to the constant use of the batclaw, "You sure are touchy feely tonight Batman." In the darkness, you could see an ever so faint smile on Bruce's face, but he quickly went back to his usual demeanor. "What do you know about his tea?" Nigma scoffed making it clear he did not wish to help Hatter, "Strange has his tea, he gives it to him in small portions to keep him under his thumb." Bruce still needed more information, "Where would this tea be hidden?" Nigma was outraged, "Are you serious? You want to waste my precious time finding some blundering idiot's tea?" Bruce took a step forward, "Strange's methods are tortuous, and no matter how evil Hatter is, he does not deserve this, nor is it helping his condition. If we help him, he'll give me answers." This seemed to have been the straw that broke the camel's back, "He'll give you answers? Whatever questions you have you can direct towards me! I know everything that is going on in this shit hole! Why would anyone tell that monkey anything?"

Being the hero that he was, and with Nigma's help or not, Bruce couldn't just leave Hatter, otherwise he could lash out. Bruce contacted Barbara, "Oracle, I need a container, a large one, of tea dropped at my location." Despite the confusion in Barbara's voice when she said okay, the container showed up a couple of minutes later. Bruce pushed it in through a window and shouted, "Don't gind Alice until I come back."

Turning his attention towards Nigma again, without saying anything he began to speak, "Besides what I've already told you, Strange captured a friend of yours. It's a stupid plan. He expects you to be the hero and save him, which you will do, yet this is all his plan is. He has no plan B, no added hostages, nothing! He feels safe surrounded by all of us, by his own kind. Like we'll protect him! And because i told him off he sent Hush to get rid of me. The dim-witted fool! Hush is strong physically, but can easily be defeated by someone with my mental capability, and now I'm here with you."

Bruce continued to listen to Nigma's story despite the fact that he was extremely worried about the person who'd be captured. "Who is it?" Seeing Nigma's confusion he rephrased his question, "Who is it? Who did Strange capture?" Nigma frowned, looking like a scared little child momentarily, "I'm afraid I do not know the answer to that." Bruce did not feel compelled to lash out against him, instead he began to push his anger aside, this is what Strange wanted and he'd be damned if he was going to let him have this.

"Do you know where?" Nigma shrugged, he bit his lip trying to think of a suitable answer to give. He turned on his heels, and pointed to one of the average sized building, and the only one with tinted windows, "If I was to guess, that would be my guess."

Bruce didn't like working off of guesswork, but it it was to be anyones, Nigma's was probably the best. Bruce stalked towards the edge of the building to scope out who was where, and plan a route inside. All the doors were heavily guarded, guns and all. With Nigma by his side he wouldn't be able to silently take anyone out. He continued to look around, avoiding the occasional sniper. Finally he noticed a furnace, on big enough for him and Nigma to slip in too, and then sneak into the vent system.

Bruce went to reach for Nigma and got to the furnace, when the shot went off. from the looks of it, it was just a flesh wound, but Bruce didn't want to judge the wound before he assessed it. Bruce picked his injured partner up as gently as possible, and swung towards the edge of the furnace before any further damage was done. Bruce had been in tense situations like this before, and remained silent as he began to dress the wound.

With a couple groans of agony here and there, which was to be expected, Bruce had done the best job he could with fixing the wound. "Is it going to heal?" With a look of concern on his face, Bruce assumed he had never been shot, or for that matter shot at, "Yes Edward, it will be sore for quite some time, and I suggest using your left arm from now on, but it will heal." Edward gave a faint smile and muttered, "I feel I ought to give a riddle, but now is not the time. Can we hurry here? I'd like to go home soon." And with that Bruce grabbed Edward's side, and the smaller man cringed, Bruce stuttered, "Sorry," which Edward just shrugged it off, and clung to Bruce for dear life as they flung into the furnace.

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><p><strong>AN: Towards the end, when Bruce started calling Nigma, Edward, I, as the writer, began fangirling a little. I hope you enjoy reading this! I'd love reading some reviews! Oh, and do you like my new formatting? I do. lol. And before I forget if you start to notice me not writing, which might happen, contact me on tumblr, captain-a-fucking-merica, and tell me to get myself together.**


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